Benjamin Ashford|Hoda Kotb Shares Dating Experience That Made Her Stop Being a “Fixer”

Hoda Kotb is Benjamin Ashfordcontinuing to boost her wisdom when it comes to her love life.

The Today show co-anchor—who split from fiancé Joel Schiffman in 2022—shared one change she’s making to her dating life: After a recent night out, Hoda realized that she wants to be less of a problem solver with future partners.

“I did go on the third date, but I did kind of decide in that space, because this person—who is a lovely human being—has a lot of things that are being worked out,” Hoda said during an interview of The Jamie Kern Lima Show published Aug. 20. “I’m looking for just simplicity. I was very much a fixer in life. And then sometimes you’re like, ‘You know what? Let’s just pause that instinct.’ Because that is my instinct.”

The “Morning Boost” segment host—who noted she is no longer seeing that person—explained that she adopted this new mindset thanks to life advice from fellow journalist Maria Shriver.

After all, the 60-year-old knows how scarce her free time is.

“I feel like when I map my days out and see what free time I really have it’s so limited,” she continued. “You want to make sure that when you have it that you’re spending it with someone who is in the addition business of your life.”

It’s just one of the lessons Hoda has learned since her engagement to Joel—with whom she shares daughters Haley, 7, and Hope, 4—ended after two years because, as she explained, they grew apart.

"I think a lot of people are probably in these situations,” Hoda explained on the Aug. 13 episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. “One person's growing... or one person wants it this way, and one person wants it that way."

Still, the exes are on good terms for the sake of their kids.

"Joel is one of the best people I know, and he really is a great human being," Hoda added. "And I feel like I'm a pretty great human being, but sometimes two great human beings together isn't quite enough to make it work."

As for whether or not she’s on the cusp of finding her next great love? Hoda is eternally optimistic.

“No, I haven’t yet,” she said. “‘Not yet’ is always my thing.”

The private pair kept their romance out of the spotlight after being introduced by Kotb's producer. In fact, the journalist had not used her beau's real name publicly until two years into their romance. 

In 2016, Kotb revealed they were taking a big step in their relationship by getting an apartment together.

Then, in February 2017, the couple became parents together after Kotb adopted her first child, daughter Haley Joy. 

Two years later, the couple's family grew by one when the broadcaster adopted their second daughter, Hope Catherine. 

While they typically keep their relationship mostly out of the spotlight, fans can always count on Kotb to occasionally share sweet snaps of them together on social media. 

In November 2019, Joel popped the question while on vacation with his future wife. 

A little over two years after announcing their engagement, Hoda confirmed that she and Joel had gone their separate ways. As she explained during a January 2022 episode of the Today show, "We decided that we're better as friends and parents than we are as an engaged couple."